Footballers and managers plying their trade north of the border are trying to come up with a reason to get out of bed this week, it has emerged.
After Celtic went 24 points clear of 2nd place in the SPL with 12 games still to go, the entire Scottish game has now come to the realisation that it is totally pointless, and poor entertainment to boot.
Aberdeen manager, Derek McInnes, said: “Every week we go out and try to pretend that it makes a difference whether we win or lose or draw.
“But really they should have just cancelled this ludicrous waste of time and energy and let us focus on what the Scottish are good at… getting pished and frying things in batter!”
McInnes was last seen at a bar loudly stating “I refuse to demean myself for Celtic’s pleasure any more!”