Steven Gerrard, will teach the Liverpool youth team literally everything he knows in his new role as youth team coach, it has emerged.
The former England and Liverpool captain confirmed today that he will be imparting all of his wisdom and knowledge in a task that “shouldn’t take long”.
He said: “Errrrm yea you know, I’ve got three main things to teach them: The sweeping diagonal long-ball, how to get the DJ to put your favourite track on at the club, and errrrm things not to say in team-talks that might come back to haunt you.
Other than that I can show them how to save space in their homes by staying with one club who will never win anything of substance for almost their entire careers. So, errrm, yeh, should be all wrapped up by lunch time really.”
He added: “It’s a pretty simple assignment. Just got to make sure I don’t slip…”