Guardiola “knackered and ready to retire” after actually having to do some work


Pep Guardiola has confirmed that he is fed up and can no longer be arsed to work if it requires effort, it has emerged.

Guardiola, who began his managerial career with Barcelona 9 years ago, is now said to be ready to retire as “actually having to do work isn’t that fun.”

Guardiola said: “This being a manager stuff was OK when I was at clubs like Barcelona and Bayern Munich – I didn’t really have to do anything and we just won everything and I got all the credit. To be honest, I thought it would be the same here at Man City but the other teams in the Premier league actually all try and beat you when you play them!

“The other day, I actually had to look at some data and think about some different tactics and it’s absolutely knackered me out! And then the press are total dicks to me, asking for my opinions on things like how my team play. It’s well out of order really.”

He added: “I don’t think the everyday man appreciates how lucky they are to have a mundane 9-5 job their whole life, being paid a pittance – I’d probably be happy to do that. They should try being paid an obscene amount of money for doing something they love – I bet they’d want to retire too!”

When asked how he intends to turn City’s season around, Guardiola snapped: “That’s not my job!”


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