Shanghai Shenhua “Thought They Were Buying Rare Troll”

Chinese club, Shanghai Shenhua, thought they ‘were buying a rare troll’ after agreeing to pay £615,000 per week for Carlos Tevez in a world record deal, it has emerged.

A club spokesperson said: “We didn’t realise we were buying a player. We thought we were negotiating for a rare troll which could be our mascot and earn us loads of money as an attraction!”

“When we first met with him, it seemed definite he was some sort of cave-dwelling creature, like none we’d ever seen before. We’d been looking for a novel attraction for ages.”

However, since agreeing the deal, the club has realised that they have actually paid an eye-watering amount for a player whose best years are behind him.

The spokesperson added: “We’re not quite sure what we’ll do with it…him, at the moment. We might let it play, but we don’t want to terrify the children!”

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