The Old Firm derby is set to be extra feisty after Rangers expressed their anger at Celtic for “not spending enough on their Christmas present this year.”
A spokesperson for Rangers said: “We agreed to only spend £100 on each other this year, but everybody knows that you need to at least double that amount!
“Celtic only spent £100 on our gift after we bought them a £100 gift plus a further £100 gift. Plus stocking fillers!”
“You can imagine our dismay on Christmas morning when we were opening the presents. It’s one thing to be our arch-rivals; city adversaries; and religiously affiliated opponents, but it’s another not to spend enough on us at Christmas!”
“This means war!”
A Celtic spokesperson said: “We don’t understand why Rangers got so upset?! We agreed before Christmas that we were going to only spend £100 on each other this year.”
“We knew as soon as we opened our gifts we were in trouble.”
“Even though we’d put loads of thought into our gift – a gift card, Rangers still burst into tears in disappointment.”
“We tried to claim that we’d bought them more but the delivery was late, but they weren’t having any of it!”
Celtic have said that they are now ready to completely blow their budget for Valentine’s day to make up for the mistake.